Mistress Zaynab's
Diary
Sunday, September 16, 2007
vulnerable for a moment.
Mistress is contemplating a change. One of the following things must happen:
A.) I must find another reliable, loyal, devoted slave (or two) who enjoys oral torture, training as a toilet, foot and body worship, and acting as a household servant (and a variety of other things).
B.) I must move to Iraq and make My fortune as a contractor while helping rebuild My family's homeland.
C.) I must have a baby and become a retired (or semi-retired) Domme.
D.) I must use My degrees and concentrate on a different career.
I can do A + C at the same time, I suppose. Option B is dangerous but exciting. I am not quite pleased with the direction in which things are going at the moment, and I'm restless. I will let My guard down for a moment to share something with all of you. As resilient as Dommes are, We too can be hurt. For the second time in My many years of doing this, I feel it could be happening to Me. Okay, I have broken the hearts of dozens of slaves who would love to serve but whom I've tossed aside with disinterest. But that is My right. The other way around is much more rare and unexpected, and has farther reaching effects than a slave might know. It's what makes this work far more risky than any other career. Perhaps I take it too seriously.
I have many occupations. I am a movie producer, a partner in a fashion design house, a filmmaker, a teacher, a published writer and photographer. I could pick any of those and concentrate on them more fully. But being a Domme is something I truly love and from which I derive pleasure and joy. Still, at times like this, I feel quite sad.
I do hope that My servants are not put off by this softer, less assured side of Me. Take it as both invitation and warning. I am open to seekers and looking toward other possibilities. We'll see in which direction the path turns.
Good night. Dream of Me.
MZ
|
Mistress Zaynab shares her experiences, thoughts,
and musings.
|
