Mistress Zaynab's
Diary
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The Friendly Sadist
Lately, I've been feeling like the Friendly Sadist, and the Benevolent Queen. Something within Me always wants the best for everyone, even if that means the best endorphin rush from the best caning you have ever had. Or sometimes it means shaping one to be the best most graceful servant one can be so that one has a sense of pride and worthiness in one's submission. I like to be pleased more than anything, and I like those who feel a thrill in pleasing. I want the best. I want unworthy wriggling purposeless worms to become skilled, purposeful, worthy slaves.
Stop flopping about, going from one experience to another, never quite fulfilled in your role. I offer an opportunity to find real focus. It is no coincidence that My slaves become better men. I would not be boasting if I admitted to you that one man who was given the prognosis of three years to live now thrives at My feet, through My command. That was more than 5 years ago, and he is still quite healthy and active. All he needed was purpose and guidance. he needed to serve.
Some beg to be broken. I think you may already be broken. Broken by life. It does not take long for Me to see it. Therefore, My job is not to break you. Nor do I claim to fix all that is broken. But I do offer a different perspective that will make your heart and body lighter for having experienced it. It is quite an unconventional path to self improvement, but it does work.
One cannot be a lazy servant. That does not last for long. A devotee's role is to put out effort to please. I remain here with the knowledge to give you purpose and a journey to change your life. But I'm not just going to hand it to you because you gave me a few hundred dollars. I'm not an enlightenment vending machine. That is not to say it is difficult to receive My guidance. It just means being truthful with yourself and with Me, and cultivating an ability to follow directions.
If, for example, I give one an instruction to keep a journal and write in it every day, it should never matter whether or not I read that journal every day. When I do read it, there should be an entry for every day of the week. If one makes excuses and lets it slide, then My own interest wanes and I turn My attention to those who are truly committed. I turn My attention to those who are earnestly cultivating the ability to follow directions.
The same applies to those who speak strongly of wanting to be owned and shaped by Me, and then stop asking for sessions, waiting for Me to summon. I'm not going to chase after you. It is your job to come to Me and tell Me when you are available to serve, and THEN wait patiently. With that knowledge, I can decide when it is appropriate to summon you (which will be far more often than those who never make contact). Be submissive, not passive.
As I said, I want the best for everyone. If I hurt you, I do so to make you better. If I criticize it is with the expectation of change.
I live by one law: If it harm none, do what you will. There are two parts to this. Harming none does not mean never cause physical pain or psychological struggle. It means doing no real harm or real damage to the core of another's being. It means leaving people better off having encountered Me, and never worse. The second part is about true will. My true will is to be worshiped and obeyed. My true will is to guide others through transcendent experiences to find their own true will. And many who come to Me find that their true will, the thing that makes them feel whole and healthy and sane, is to submit and to serve. Others discover that BDSM is simply fun recreation, and that's fine too.
Reading this you may not even know what your true will is. In fact it is difficult for some submissives to believe that they have a true will at all, as they would rather bow to the will of another. But oddly enough that genuflection is also a result of one's true will.
Keep in touch through the rest of March. I will be looking forward to resuming sessions upon My return. I have a few special slots of time reserved for special slaves before my departure. If you can take advantage, do so. If not, I will see you in April.
MZ
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Mistress Zaynab shares her experiences, thoughts,
and musings.
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